she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
