can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
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Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
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also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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