i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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