i already hear my dad disowning me
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
this hospital has no fireball
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You did what with his pubic hair?
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