White coat. Heels.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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