U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
