Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
