There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
