I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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