He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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