Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize