when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
a search helicopter?!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
