D3 body, D1 cock
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
