marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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