there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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