he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
