I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
