i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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