well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
