Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
