So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
