In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We just shotgunned beers for America
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
