If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
