have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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