the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
