IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
