i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
