I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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