her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
