i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
