he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
