We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
