I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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