Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
