1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
zippers are such a cool invention
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I pour the whiskey from now on
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
