he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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