this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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