would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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