You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
