did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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