no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
