im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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