he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Is it because I queefed?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
