I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
