After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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