At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
