sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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