the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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