I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
