At least make sure they are 18
Why
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
