im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
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