if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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