U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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