Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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