get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
