I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
