Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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