The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize