Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
