I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
