he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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